Category Archives: Blog

General thoughts on life, the universe and everything. Stuff that doesn’t fit in the other categories!

Quantum Tea Theory

I’m upstairs in bed. Just having a lazy Sunday morning, there’s no rush to get up but I do feel the need for some liquid refreshment. An English man and his tea. But, then again, just lying here is so very relaxing.

B points out that the tea isn’t just going to make itself. I note that this isn’t entirely true. According to quantum theory, it is possible for elementary particles to be at opposite ends of the universe from one moment to the next. One can, therefore, conclude that, while unlikely, it is within the realms of possibility that a mug of steaming, hot tea could materialise out of no-where onto my bed-side table.

She seems unconvinced and goes to take a shower.

You can imagine my surprise, then, when a cup of tea did spontaneous appear. Unfortunately it had two sugars in it, so I had to throw it out and make another one. Sometimes you just can’t win.

Customer Mis-Service

I’m not sure how true it is, but I always assume that doctors must have no fun at parties. Every time they’re introduced to someone the response is bound to be, “Oh, I have this strange tingle on my elbow…?” or “I have this pain in all the diodes on my left side.” Even lacking the title, working in IT as I do, I get the same kind of thing. “My PC blue-screens when…” or “How do I do [something esoteric] in [some weird application I’ve never heard of]?” It’s the curse of knowing something about computers.

Often it turns out that people have been mis-sold either the computer itself or some associated gadget. PCs are complicated and people often end up believing the sales-person not because they are inherently trust-worthy (quite the opposite) but because they don’t know enough to counter any assertions made. Can that £300 Dell really edit your home movies? Is an extra 512Mb of memory really necessary or do the margins on it justify a hard sell? How do I avoid all those viruses? (Answers: no, yes and buy a Mac.)

Of course, the truth is that life is complicated and mis-selling, or at least poor service, is rife in all walks of life. I recently went to buy a wedding band. I’m not a jewelry person and have never worn a ring previously, yet I have a good chunk of money to spend on one, a number broadly similar to a new computer. For something so expensive I would have expected some advice, the advantages and disadvantages of various designs and materials. But no, it basically amounted to looking at lots of shiny things and picking one based entirely on aesthetics. They seemed put out when I didn’t know what size my finger was and they offered no guidance on how loose it should be. Later on I found that the manufacturer engraved rings, but this was not offered at the time of purchase. It feels like I would have been better buying on-line!

And now, after a week of wearing it, I find it is doing the jewelry equivalent of blue-screening. We go back to query the workmanship and the assistant merely says — I paraphrase — “Yes, matt-effect white gold does that.” Thanks. She’s probably right but would it not have been useful to tell me this at the time of purchase? They could have made more money (as I might have picked something in a harder metal) and I wouldn’t be whinging about the scratches. We’d all have been happier, until my credit card bill arrived at least.

It’s very English not to complain about things. Many of us have had poor service in a restaurant, have grumbled about it to our friends but when the waiter asks if everything is okay we simply say, “It’s fine.” The difference with the ring and the computer is that we don’t even know that we’ve received poor service until it’s too late. Bad service in a restaurant can be rewarded with no tip, but the jewelers and the computer company already have our money. We have little leverage. After all the £300 Windows-box can edit home movies if you have the patience and my ring can be sent back to the manufacturer for re-polishing. They’re just not what we were expecting.

The Big Day

The Happy CoupleThe truth is that I don’t normally blog about very personal things. However, occasionally something happens that’s so big or different that you have to break convention, and this is one of them.

Last Friday I got married!

For various reasons we did this in New York, dragging most of our relatives three thousand miles from home. Everyone made it and I think a good day was had by all. We even managed to get a little sight-seeing in too. None of my family had been to New York before, in fact I’m the only one that had been out of Europe!

My wife — it’s going to take a while before I get used to saying that — has been mentioned a few times on here before (as “B”) and, well, we’ve grown very close, “inseparable” according to one friend. We were introduced by our mutual friend, M. After unsuccessfully attempting to get us to meet in a pub in April she tried again in July, inviting us both around hers for a weekend vegging out, watching movies.

This weekend went well and we soon agreed to meet again. A number of further encounters ensued. A couple of months later M was so pleased that things were going well that she blogged about us:

I knew theirs was a meaningful and deep union when we were casually drinking Starbucks one night and [B] almost fainted when she caught a sight of a new iPod nano and [S] joined in the drool over miniature toy. Let’s just say… Apple brought them together against the PC users.

View from the London EyeAlthough she insists on using a Vaio we’re all still close. Unfortunately she was back in Croatia and couldn’t make my Stag Do. (Yes, it was mixed. Many, if not most, of my friends are female. Not to be outdone in the “unconventional” stakes, B is having her Hen Night in a couple of weeks, i.e., after the wedding.)

To celebrate the end of my days as a single man, my friends organised a trip on the London Eye. A big Thank You to A for volunteering to organise it and herding my other friends around in a slew of emails; to C for the glitter and balloons at the restaurant, and for her persistence in getting R to come up to London for the night; and to everyone else for coming.

RIP

We had a power-cut last night. Pretty much the only electronic thing that worked in the flat was my iBook G3, a 2001-era 600Mhz model with a DVD-reader and no disc writing ability. After sending a few emails I closed the lid, putting it to sleep.

Ironically, this morning it was pretty much the only gadget in my flat that wasn’t working. I opened the lid and found the Spinning Beach-ball of Death. Perhaps because of its age this is not unusual. What was unusual was that after a few seconds it stopped spinning. On restarting rather than a nice, grey Apple logo I found a Finder icon and a question mark flashing on the screen. Not good.

While attempting some of the steps in that Apple Knowledge Base it finally booted up. It wasn’t actually any of the steps that coaxed it to life, so while “RIP” might now be a little premature I still think it’s not much longer for this world.

In many ways this is the end of an era. I think it’s fair to say that I was one of the first of the new wave of “switchers.” I was drawn to MacOS X because of the beautiful, functional GUI, the availably of software such as Photoshop and Office and the underlying Unixy goodness. The fact that I wouldn’t have to continually have to reboot between Linux and Windows to get the best of both worlds was a winning combination from my perspective. Sure, I was believing the marketing to some extent and it could have been a very expensive mistake but I’m happy with the way it worked out.

And it all began on this iBook.

We’ve been through a lot together. I carted it back and forth to Norway for seven months. It was my DVD player and Age of Empires box. It’s been up and down the East Coast main line to my parents. It’s been to Malta. To Canada. The United States. And to work. It’s been dropped and battered and abused. Even after buying an iMac G5 I’ve been keeping using it as my occasional email, web and instant messaging console.

This machine has been special in a way no machine since my BBC Model B. I’ve had PCs, but they’ve all just been boring beige boxes; they feel like they’ve been assembled rather than designed. The iBook has been fun to use.

And now it’s no more. May your bytes rest peacefully in Silicon Heaven.

The Mighty Blur

The Mighty BooshOkay, really I’m talking about The Mighty Boosh, but my camera phone doesn’t quite have the resolution to give you much more than a blur…

A few months ago I tried to organise a trip to see The Boosh but despite every indication to the contrary, they had completely sold out. We settled for watching the DVD at a friends house.

On a whim I checked a ticketing website last Friday and there were still tickets available for some new dates that were added. After umming and ahhing over the price for a while I whipped out my credit card.

The show was kind of a mixture of some new material, some “best of” moments from the TV series and a lot of ad-libbing. That’s selling it a bit short. It was a new story but with some familiar elements and some favourite characters. We were pleased to see The Moon (“Neil Armstrong, walking on me face…”) make an appearance.

Basically it’s a programme full of in-jokes. You could go to an Eddie Izzard gig and laugh at pretty much all of it (except any references to Mrs Badcrumble). If you’d not seen the TV show would the phrase “top shelf” make you laugh out loud?

We were laughing pretty much from beginning to end. Recommended.