Tag Archives: funny

Marketing Windows Vista

The problem with trying to sell a lacklustre product to a disinterested audience is that even the best marketing that money can buy can’t help. Fortunately Microsoft had the wisdom not to throw good money after bad and decided to push Vista with their “The Wow Starts Now” campaign, one that neatly matched the quality of the initial operating system release. Very clever.

But recently Microsoft have decided that things have improved and that it’s worth marketing their flagship product with a little more gusto. I decided that I would help and try to think of a few new tag lines.

I offer these for free in the hope that Microsoft will use them.

  • Windows Vista: it’s really not that bad.
  • Windows Vista: because John Hodgman1 is cool.
  • Windows Vista: because our share price is dropping and we need the cash.
  • Windows Vista: because (almost) every penny you spend ends up in Gates’ charitable foundation (honest).
  • Windows Vista: because you like blue.
  • Windows Vista: because useful new features are for wusses.
  • Windows Vista: buy it or the cute kitty gets it.
  • Windows Vista: because Justin Long2 is just too smug.
  • Windows Vista: because other operating systems fund terrorism.
  • Windows Vista: we have a monopoly and you’re going to end up buying it anyway, may as well be now.

Can you think of any more? With the whole Yahoo thing, attention from the EU competition commission and the Xbox 360 dropping from its number one spot despite its year head-start, Microsoft need all the help that they can get at the moment. Please give generously.

  1. That’s David Mitchell for British readers. []
  2. Or Robert Webb if you’re in the UK. []

In reply to “family holiday in tuscany”

So B “tagged” me on her recent blog of our recent holiday in Tuscany. I have not quite got my act together for the full photographic and textual story of the trip just yet, but I couldn’t let a couple of her comments pass…

Firstly, and least controversially, she suggested that you ask me for my picture of the rain on the car windscreen. I am happy to oblige:

Rain in Fiesole, Italy

You can’t quite make out how high the rain-drops were bouncing off the car bonnet but you get the idea, and it’s not too shabby for a camera phone picture.

The second is me lying upside down on a well in Poppi, on the 22nd with the caption “I’m sure S can explain this.” What can I say other than I suffer for my art?

The result is the following picture:

Poppi castle, Tuscany, Italy

It’s not the best picture that I’ve ever taken, but I’ve certainly done far worse.

Stay tuned for the full blog entry.

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My del.icio.us bookmarks for April 8th through April 11th

Special Inabilities

I hesitate to say that it happens often, but people do sometimes talk about special abilities or super-powers, even if it’s phrased as a “party trick.” Today I realised that I have what might best be described as a special inability.

I took a quick wander into Wimbledon, the nearest town to where I live. It looked gloomy outside and the weather the previous day had been windy and a little chilly. I decided to wear a jumper and my jacket. It didn’t take me long to realise that I had misjudged the weather and that I was very warm.

This happens to me all the time.

It’s a skill that I’ve never had. I often go out only to find that I dramatically underestimated the weather. This time I dressed for arctic conditions but I can’t count the number of times that I’ve misjudged the situation the other way around.

Does this happen to everyone? In town no-one else seemed to have been caught out. Many were dressed in small jackets or jumpers — but not both — a few were in t-shirts.

How do they know?

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