The problem with trying to sell a lacklustre product to a disinterested audience is that even the best marketing that money can buy can’t help. Fortunately Microsoft had the wisdom not to throw good money after bad and decided to push Vista with their “The Wow Starts Now” campaign, one that neatly matched the quality of the initial operating system release. Very clever.

But recently Microsoft have decided that things have improved and that it’s worth marketing their flagship product with a little more gusto. I decided that I would help and try to think of a few new tag lines.

I offer these for free in the hope that Microsoft will use them.

• Windows Vista: it’s really not that bad.
• Windows Vista: because John Hodgman ((That’s David Mitchell for British readers.)) is cool.
• Windows Vista: because our share price is dropping and we need the cash.
• Windows Vista: because (almost) every penny you spend ends up in Gates’ charitable foundation (honest).
• Windows Vista: because you like blue.
• Windows Vista: because useful new features are for wusses.
• Windows Vista: buy it or the cute kitty gets it.
• Windows Vista: because Justin Long ((Or Robert Webb if you’re in the UK.)) is just too smug.
• Windows Vista: because other operating systems fund terrorism.
• Windows Vista: we have a monopoly and you’re going to end up buying it anyway, may as well be now.

Can you think of any more? With the whole Yahoo thing, attention from the EU competition commission and the Xbox 360 dropping from its number one spot despite its year head-start, Microsoft need all the help that they can get at the moment. Please give generously.